Sunday, 8 May 2016

Time for a light hearted one

So I feel it's time for a light hearted post, so here's a selection of practice funnies that still either make me chuckle to this day or still get my goat (Scuse the pun)

- let's set the scene, it's a nurse admit and the cat is in to be neutered. Me 'ok so when was the last time she ate something' owner 'oh I took the bowl up last night so nothing since ummm 7pm' me 'OK great so no food then' owner 'Nope no food, just one of those teeth treat things, yes that's all she's had.'
Me 'wait, what, what teeth things?' Owner 'oh you know just those things to help with their teeth.' Me 'OK, so your telling me you fed her then, because those treat things are food....'

Result: Cat goes home, with the same instructions not to feed the cat after 7pm the night before....including any treats!
Any vet nurses will appreciate the next comment - if I got a pound for every phone number that the owner is supposedly available on all day....I'd be a very rich woman! For all non veterinary people let me explain. You know those really important things called consent forms, well they have a box for 'phone number that we can reach you on' we always explain this as; if there's an emergency or we have any queries we need the best number that we can get you on today - so owner provides a number. So it comes to the anaesthetic or post anaesthetic, you pick up the phone dial in the number, ring ring ring....! Then you turn around and say to the room 'so that's apparently the phone number we can use if there's a problem, yeah right!' Now I jest, mainly it's a phone call to arrange a discharge so sometimes not that important, but just occasionally it's a phone call of - your animals on the table somethings gone wrong, we've found something, we need to provide you with an estimate, or your animal is suffering - so please provide a phone number than we can actually use to reach you... all day! Rant over,oh no this was meant to be light hearted :p

- Classic phone call that reception put through to me recently.
'Hi, I've got a really I've got a bit of a problem. My dog doesn't get on so well with people, well she's not aggressive but gets all worked up........and I don't know what to do next weekend. Its my 60th Birthday party. So I'm really hoping you can tell me what to do..'

Now this call came in on the emergency line, on the weekend. I'm currently looking around in pharmacy, trying hard to stop my face pulling one of those bewildered frowns and trying hard not to smile too much. Whilst looking around the room I have now caught the on call vets eyes, who is sniggering to herself, possibly grateful that I picked up this phone call instead of her.

I persevered through the call, discussing various options like Pheromone sprays, Zylkene, or if all else fails perhaps consider putting her into the kennels for a day.

Once off the call, I can't help but let out a huge sigh and say are you actually kidding me, her dog is going to ruin her 60th birthday party because it wants to play with the guests....heaven forbid! Guess the breed time.....a Border Collie...! At least the personality of dog and owner suit each other. But this is just another case of where I could make a lot of money out of having a magic wand to wave at times like this.

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